Britain is being inundated with (apparently low-life) words used by Americans. The pristine language is threatened. These are the top 10 words or phrases that make British journalist Matthew Engels cringe, according to "The English Blog." Actually, these words are pretty tame. I have a few that would make Engels piss his pants, but I'll leave them until later. Here's his shitlist of American words that are sliming Britain's pure speech:
1. Hospitalise (or, worse, he says, "hospitalize.")
5. Hike (as in "raise.")
6. The finger
10. Monkey wrench
Now, besides the fact no American would spell hospitalize "hospitalise" (my spell-checker goes bananas at the mere thought) and despite the fact no American has used the words "monkey wrench" since Buck Rogers did in 1934, here are my own offensive top 10 British words that, thankfully, are NOT creeping into the American language:
1. Surgery (when what you really mean is "doctor's office.")
2. Whatever word you use instead of "faze."
3. Film (when you are talking about movies instead of crud on your teeth.)
4. Lorry (when you are not talking about a girl's name and just spelling it wrong.)
5. Whatever you would say instead of hike.
6. The stupid "V for Victory" finger sign backwards.
7. Maths. (You people never seem to get this, do you? "Math" doesn't mean we doltishly think there is only one discipline in that branch of science; it means the word "mathematics" has been shortened to only its first 4 letters. Try to think out of the box on this one.)
8. Birds called rooks. (Incidentally, where they live are called "rookeries" by Americans. And why a rook would be called a rookie is beyond me. Do you people REALLY call rooks that?)
9. Power cut. (The power hasn't been "cut." The lights have gone out because of an accident. The power is out. There is a power "outage." Don't be angry.)
10. Adjustable spanner. Jesus.
Dear readers: all the above snotty comments were meant for this Mr. Engels, not you. You know how I love your words.
Well, ok. This Mr. Engels (of the MailOnline) seems to be defending your language from the Americans like the French are guarding against you. There used to be a fag in L.A. by the name of "Mr. Black" who used to bitchingly hurt women's feelings about the way they dressed and their taste in clothing accessories (thank god he's dead now) and this gentleman at the virtual version of the Mail seems to be equally obsessed with ridiculing American words.
What is the "MailOnline" anyway? Sounds like an oxymoron. I thought Mail Online was called eMail.
I could go on, you know.