Windsor Gothic

In a totally unexpected move which reportedly shocked even the royal household, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge announced today that they would be moving out of London and taking up residence in a modest cottage in a rural area between Grimsby and Wee Grimsby as of this coming Friday.

The couple admitted the cottage was definitely a "fixer-upper" and will require a bit of a lifestyle adjustment from Clarence House, but vowed to have it looking like new before summer is over.

"You won't recognize the place after we've splashed a new coat of white paint on it," beamed the new bride. "My husband is no stranger to hard work," she added.

Speaking of work, when we asked what they intended to live on, they seemed unsure at the moment. Though an experienced military pilot, the prince admitted he had turned up nothing requiring bombing or strafing skills in the Greater Grimsby area. In fact, it appeared Grimsby didn't have much of a military at all, to speak of.

The bride has peripheral experience in the party supply business, and they are now looking at shop space with that in mind, until something else comes along. We wish them all the best and admire their pluck.

The newlyweds do have an automobile, however. "It isn't exactly ours, the young Duke admitted with a wink and a nudge, "but we are optimistic they won't miss it."