It's true, it's true! Relax Max is SIMPLY FASCINATED by it all. Here's the deal — you folks can continue worshiping at the shrine of Barack Obama (of unknown origins, says The Donald) and I will pursue the headier delights of the upcoming (impending?) marriage of (be still, my heart) KATE. How could you claim to be utterly disinterested? I think you're all lying. Following is the fruit of the past week's tabloid dishes.
1. Kate prefers to be called Catherine.2. Kate is related to both George Washington and George S. Patton.
3. Kate is the oldest bride in history.
4. Kate has been assigned 4 bodyguards from Scotland Yard to protect her clock.
5. Kate was a Brownie.
6. Is a morbidly moping Brad Pitt sleeping with an Angelina Jolie look-alike?
7. Teen unable to close mouth after yawning in class.
8. Kate is 6 years older than Prince William.
8a. Prince Charles is 20 years younger than Kate.
9. Kate set a high jump record in school. Dunno, that's what it said.
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Explanations and clarifications found necessary due to publication before proofreading:
(These are probably not in order. Makes it more interesting that way.)
1. Title of post is from an ABBA song. I'm thinking 1 or 2 of you might not get that without this prompt. It is also a double-entendre meant to refer to the weddi.... ah, never mind.
2. If you go all the way to 8th cousins, 11 times removed, I guess I am related to George Washington, too.
3. Make that the oldest "royal" bride in history. I find that hard to believe, though they do tend to rob the cradle more often than not. But she's only 29. Really? Could she REALLY be the oldest woman ever to marry a royal? I'm guess there is another caveat the tabloid left out.
4. Make that "protect her AROUND THE clock."
5. Not a faerie. A little girl scout. Pre- girl scout. Whatever.
6. Clicked on wrong link and got those ones about Brad and yawn.
7. Make that "she is 6 MONTHS older than Prince William."
8. In dog years.
Next post: "Inattentive future queen gets hand bitten by
deranged woman." See the actual video of the human
bulldog in action. Not for the squeamish.
