The following news story really had me snorting and pawing the ground and champing at the bit when I read it. Any unauthorized additions to the story appear in [brackets.]
(NEWSER) – First British and Irish consumers were aghast to discover horse meat in their hamburgers. Now, horse meat is turning up in frozen beef lasagnas, with 11 of 18 tested Findus products containing horse meat in the 60% to 100% range, reports the AP. Findus pulled its beef lasagnas [is lasagnas really a word?] from stores and apologized immediately, saying it had "fully resolved" issues with its meat supplies.
While horse meat is not considered a hazard per se, [or at least not one we would pay for, says the NHS] food safety officials are testing the meat for the veterinary drug phenylbutazone, which is banned from entering the food chain. Many food officials are pointing fingers at Irish beef exporters, who in turn are blaming Polish suppliers [who in turn are blaming the lax disposal methods of royal polo ponies.] The UK Food Standards Agency is calling for more comprehensive meat testing to ensure labels accurately represent products.
[End of news story]
[End of news story]
May I note that I have never seen an Irish consumer aghast? This thought itself is a mental treat to me in my news story reverie. Truly. An Irish consumer in a genuine state of aghastment, perhaps sitting on a curb/kerb with his/her head in his/her hands, perhaps a horse lover forever disillusioned with his/her trusted government meat inspectors. Did you know you can buy bison meat in the U.S. - all ground up to make bison burgers out of - right next to the ground beef packages in the meat display case in some supermarkets? Well, you can. But you won't mistake it for ground beef because it is too red and lacks all the fat of American ground beef.
Extra tidbit at no extra charge: Did you know that when Arizona cops stop you for DWI and give you a breathalizer test, they ask you to try and say the word phenylbutazone while blowing into it? Then they laugh at you and arrest you anyway, and take you to jail where you are fed Sheriff Joe's green baloney sandwiches with rattlesnake protein mixed in it.
Finally, here is a gratuitous photo I stole from Soubriquet's wallet, just to see if he reads all the way down to the end of the post. Ta.
Finally, here is a gratuitous photo I stole from Soubriquet's wallet, just to see if he reads all the way down to the end of the post. Ta.
