Thursday, January 27, 2011

Oh! Fair Lancashire! A mini tour guide

A trip to the north of England would not be complete without experiencing the beautiful countryside of Lancashire. The wild beauty of its heather-carpeted moors was the inspiration for Wuthering Heights and Jane Ayer; the Bronte sisters lived in Lancashire, of course, at Hayworth.

If time permits, you simply must take the steam journey along the wild coast of Lancashire, one of the most beautiful in the entire country, rolling past farms and fields, passing trains that have no names, the freight yards full of old black men, and the graveyards of the rusted automobiles. Here, you will also find the river Humber and the fifth-largest suspension bridge in the world. Up past the towering chalk cliffs of Flamborough Head lies the seaside town of Scarborough, so fair. Here, you may partake of the famous Lancashire fish and chips - bar none the finest fish and chips in all the world.

There are scores and scores of beautiful towns in Lancashire, both large and small. Two of my favorites being Giggleswick and Wigglesworth. Recommended lodging for your adventure is the Merrion Hotel in Leeds, Lancashire's largest city. Leeds is also home to the Lancashire A.F.C. football team, Leeds United.

No visit to the jewel of Northwestern England would be complete without touring the beautiful hills and river valleys of Lancashire Dales.


  1. Jesus, you little shit, this was close to being a masterpiece. For you, I mean.

  2. You missed out some of our finest villages, Wetwang and Upperthong.
    Oh- and Penistone.

  3. And Netherthong, and Booze, and Crackpot.

  4. Written by the 'McEwans Export' market I'd say.

  5. I kinda sense an opportunity for an article about the decline in the new Mexico lobster export industry, or the Maine tequila distilleries.

  6. Hmmmm. I sense a bit of a backlash from this painstakingly honest portrayal.

    I think I can safely say the lobster exports of NM haven't changed all that much over the past 100 years. Dunno about Maine's tequila harvest, though. Or even if they try to grow it anymore.

    I know for sure the world's best fish and chips don't live in Scotland.

    I had intended to do a followup piece on Yorkshire's famed Land's End region and their beloved rugby Pirates, but that may have to wait, as I will be west, riding, next week.

  7. West, riding, out of town, on a rail?

  8. Dunno about Maine's tequila harvest, though. Or even if they try to grow it anymore.

    They don't. People would stop and take a nap under the tequila tree, then stumble off and fall into the sea.

    Very embarrassing.



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