Monday, November 28, 2011

Stone the Crows

Stone the Crows, Aussie Version

"Stone the Flamin crows" he cried, "The country's gone to hell,

the 'cobbers' are all 'cobras' now, a sorry tale to tell,

The Cuff'n'Collar boys have won, and sold the family farm,

the Orcs have overrun the Shire, and caused all kinds of harm.

Now its Porches for the city spivs, and no Fair Go for All,

the battlers do it very tough, their backs against the wall.

There are two kinds of aussies now, comfort and survival

where everyone was once a mate, now everyman's a rival

Money doesn't talk, it screams, and drowns all other voices

the people are seduced by greed, and see no other choices.

Nothing now is sacred, there are no dreams they cherish

yet proverbs clearly warns 'without vision, the people perish'

Some love a sunburnt country, this dry and wide brown land

but the True-Blue culture's fading, if we don't take a stand.

Some say that only Owners have the right to speech that's free,

I say a Fair Go is FOR ALL, and that means you and me!

- A Fair Dinkum True-Blue

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Talking the Talk: "Never encircle a prince on a hill"

Here are some "British" sayings. Idioms. Proverbs. Something.

[Note: at first I googled for "English" proverbs. Because that's what I wanted to post about. The results came back 90% American. I guess "English" is a language to google and not a country or a people. I had to google "British proverbs" to get google to give me some English proverbs. Note the clear racism here, Adullamite.]

Anyway, first I will give the idiom or saying and then I will tell you what I think it means. Finally, I may give you what it actually means. Or you may give me the correct answer in a comment.

[Note to visitors: you don't have to comment about this stuff; you can comment about frozen pumpkins if you want to. Or Moravia. That's it, tell us where Moravia is. Just thank you for coming.]

If I do decide to give the correct answers at the bottom of this post, I promise not to mention 1887 PM Robert Salisbury.

1. "Bob's your uncle."

This means your father has a brother named Robert.

2. "Keep your pecker up."

This is traditionally what the English say when they feed pigeons in the park.

3. "Big girl's blouse."

A comment made by old men on a park bench about passing lasses: "Oi mate, she has to wear a big girl's blouse, eh?" And then they both chortle.

4. "Burning the candle at both ends."

Needs more light than a candle gives off.

5. "His eyes are bigger than his belly."

The bloke has humongous eyes.

6. "Sleep tight."

Go to sleep drunk.

7. "Gordon Bennett."

Beats me.

8. "Stone the crows."

Beats me.

9. "Talk the hind legs off a donkey."

This probably means he talks a lot.

10. "Do you want a brew?"

This means, "Do you want a beer?"

11. "As queer a a nine bob note."

This means nothing.

12. "Popped his clogs."

Stunned his mullet? (It sounded Australian, but Australian for croak is cork it, no? Maybe "cark it.")

13. There was only 12 and I always need 13 for my lists, so I will put one down here that I already know: "Bugger this for a game of soldiers."

It means (roughly) to lure a group of manly military personnel into a gay bar.

[Final note: I've decided not to put the real meanings down here after all.]

Friday, November 4, 2011

Irish Curses

I'm in a foul mood today and don't want to be consoled; only dark thoughts for me today, if you please. Herewith some creative Irish curses to brighten your day.

May you be afflicted with the itch and have no nails to scratch with.

Lord, confound this surly sister, blight her brow with blotch and blister, cramp her larynx lung and liver, in her guts a galling give her.

May his pipe never smoke, may his teapot be broke, and to add to the joke may his kettle not boil may he lay in the bed 'till the moment he's dead may he always be fed on lob-scouse and fish oil, may he swell with the gout, may his grinders fall out, may he roar, bawl and shout, with the horrid toothache. May his temples wear horns, and all his toes corns... (this one goes on and on, but that's enough of it for now.)

May you have to stand a long time on weak legs.

Another stone on our grave, you miserable wretch.

May you suffer an unquenchable thirst. May warts and chapped hands always be with you.

Let the cat eat you and the devil eat the cat.

May you be dead before morning. May you not live tomorrow. May your friends have a fine day for your burying.

May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children chase you so far over the hills of damnation that the Lord himself can't find you with a telescope.

Perking up now.


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