Saturday, February 26, 2011

Saying nothing but using lots of words

I apologize for not posting since a long time ago here but, Holy Harry Potter, not one gotdemmed thing has happened in England since my last post (and even THAT post was a nonsense fluffer) so it's your fault, really. Hell, it's still January in Scotland.

Well, let me try to make something up so the wide world of my readership will think her majesty's Untied Kingdom of GREAT britain and NORTHERN ireland, by god, is rolling on as usual and not simply stuck like a stunned MULLet in the kwagmire of WILL N KATE anticipations. Donchaknow.

I love this blog. I can spell it anyway I damned well please and yall think it's correct, only the American way of spelling. And them what don't will just put it down to my sorry American education, so it's win-win one way or tother. But here's a few Us for U: UUUUUUUU. Catch me up, hey?

Moi discovered a new British word this week. "Previous." I won't embarrass her/him by mentioning the name of the person who used it on me. Ok, ok -- Americans KNOW the word previous. But we don't use it like, "I guess I was a bit previous in saying that." We would say "preematoor" if we wuz meanin "spoke too quick" like he/she did. So (since I think it is really slang - which is okey dokey with regard to this blog's intent) not to embarrass her/him, I'll just hint that his/her initial is somewhere in the alphabet before the letter "B."

Speaking of Ireland, (if you are following my non-embarrassment drift) everything was agoan s'well. Leave the Guinness though, I reckon. Not the stout. Pteu-wee! I've been getting a lot of my BritishSpeak lately from this same reader. Which I appreciate, since the rest of you don't seem to give a royal rat's ass about my collection anymore.

Where was I?

Oh, I wanted to take this opportunity to express my displeasure at your lack of wit in responding to my "O Fair Lancashire" post, or whatever the name was. It was pitiful. Not the post (that was just shy of magnificent - especially the "Scarborough, so fair" portion) but your "Yeah, Leeds is in Lancashire, what of it" uninspiring retorts. Not even retorts, really. "Clever" British humouuuur at best. Thank you all for reading my blog here but sometimes you make me sick. No offense. If Alison were still among my readers, SHE would have set me straight. And she's never even BEEN to Yorkshire. I'd wager. Speaking of non-readers, Catherine Sharp (who claimed to be Something-Upon-Taff-born) has a new blog though her old one has rearisen as a commercial endeavor. Endeavour? Discovery? Atlantis? Don't leave and go there now, though.

God, I have so much more to say. Especially JUICY gossip about Expat Mum, link coming soon, but I will reluctantly (and previous) stop here now.


  1. What kind of oxter are you?

    Your article has landed me with a case of the milligrubs!

    That said, I have to admit that I found your article somewhat platitudinous but, alas, in many ways amusing and very accurate.

    Smart arse!

  2. If one's name started with a lesser letter than B and presumably greater than nothing, one would never dream of saying "I guess". Just sayin'.

  3. Wow - juicy gossip about me? Does that mean I have a life? Or a past? Or should I run out now and do something illegal as blog fodder?

  4. "......His state
    Is kingly: thousands at his bidding speed,
    And post o'er land and ocean without rest;
    They also serve who only stand and wait."

  5. And please don't worry about hurting my feelings.

  6. @Symdaddy - Good words, to be sure. Well, two of them were. :)

    Don't be a blooter.

    @A. - Especially if one were using clever British humor. :)

    @Expat Mum - What? What are you talking about? Actually I was only making sure your Google search term notification was still turned on. Gossip later. I'll think of something.

    @Sheila - What?

    @Sheila - You're so vain. You probably think this song is about you. :)

  7. Humour is spelt 'Humour' by the way.

  8. Regarding the title, how is this different from the usual?

    Or am I speaking previously?

  9. Who told you my middle name?

    'blooter' refers to 'hitting something/one hard' or 'blootered' refers to being drunk.

    But I am assuming you are referring to the less common, and less flattering, meaning which I won't repeat here (those that know me will disagree with you ... I wouldn't, but they might).

  10. @Adullamite - Humor is spelled humor. :) But I left you some extra Us (yous) to "use" as you please to fill in any uncomfortable spurious spaces. If I put in an extra U, what do I get? Just an annoying buzz from my spellchecker.

    "A tree's a tree. How many more do you need to look at? "
    —Ronald Reagan

  11. "All the waste in a year from a nuclear power plant can be stored under a desk."
    —Ronald Reagan

    "Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement."
    —Ronald Reagan

    "Adullamite was never that great of a speller, I'm afraid."
    —Lady Thatcher

  12. Blooter is not in the dictionary. Unless you have a Scottish dictionary. There's the rub.

    "Don't be a blooter."
    —Bill O'Reilly

    "Why the hell not?"
    —Relax Max

  13. @Stephanie Barr - Please don't be discommodious. ;)

  14. Discommodious I recognize.

    Which is frightening enough as it is.

    I'm afraid Reagan didn't know diddly about nuclear waste.

  15. "Adullamite was never that great of a speller, I'm afraid."
    —Mad woman Thatcher

    She is right there....



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