That does it, Claire

THIS POST ORIGINALLY APPEARED ON 3/11/08 AT 2:48 AM
claire said...
Knackered means tired from shagging or any other activity :)
March 10, 2008 9:50 PM

Ok, ok. I'm finally starting to get it now. You people are doing this to me on purpose, aren't you? You define one word, but at the same time, you throw out another word or two in the definition. It's endless, isn't it? You're making sport of my ignorance, aren't you?

Well, I do hope you are enjoying yourselves. All I was trying to do was pursue this in a scholarly manner, and look what you've made my earnest quest degenerate into. Into what you've made my earnest quest degenerate. Well, as Winston Churchill once said, "Up with this I will not put."

So know that the laugh is on YOU this time, because I KNOW what shag means. I saw that damn movie. The one with Mike Myers and Heather Graham. Fat Bastard. Not you, claire--I mean the character in the movie, the fat Scot with the terrible accent and the bagful of euphemisms. I suppose you even used the word "shag" on purpose, knowing it would draw my mind to that movie and to Fat Bastard. You people are incredibly devious. I thought you Brits would be much more easily handled. And you haven't even started to crank up the intellect, have you? What have I gotten into here?

xxxxxxxxxx

[And then]

March 11, 2008 10:11 AM

claire said...
Ah ha!!

Shag is in fact a sea bird, shagging is the act of trying to catch one. What did you think I meant?

Me devious? never!

:)

[to which relax max must reply as follows]

Ah, yes, the common Shag: A western European and Mediterranean cormorant with greenish-black plumage and a long curly crest in the breeding season.

Yes indeed. I must confess that never crossed my mind when I read your comment.

Because you have been so honest and forthright with me, I feel obligated to now tell you the truth about what I was REALLY thinking you meant, although I must admit I was quite puzzled that you, a Brit, would be shagging at all--especially for a living. Of course, as an American, the very first thing that popped into my mind was that you had obtained employment at a baseball stadium, and were being paid to retrieve baseballs during morning batting practice. At first I was puzzled, because I didn't think baseball was that popular in your country. But you know best, and so I simply shrugged my shoulders and accepted your statement. I must admit that it did make a great deal of sense when one thought about it; one would certainly be quite knackered after a session of shagging the players' balls. Also, your statement was reinforced by the fact that, in the movie, Fat Bastard made his living by shagging baseballs as well. (You didn't see the movie, did you? Good.)

So you can probably imagine my embarrassment (even shame) when you told me you had actually been shagging a bird for a long enough time to get knackered. (Christ, I'm actually getting quite good at talking like this.)

Two points of order I must reluctantly call you on, however. First, since I was able to find that bird in my American dictionary, it hardly can be an actual example of an obscure British idiom that would qualify as a subject for this blog. In other words, you cheated by using a real Shag instead of a slang shag. Not permissible. Secondly, it is not allowed to hide behind double-entendre. You already have an unfair advantage in that you are already fluent in BritSpeak. Ok, I just made that last one up, but I reserve the right to enforce it as an actual rule whenever I perceive you are taking unfair advantage of my delicate American sensibilities, as you so obviously were doing.

I hope this explanation suitably clarifies where my mind was when I read your comment.