Saturday, June 26, 2010

Most Hated American Words

Britain is being inundated with (apparently low-life) words used by Americans. The pristine language is threatened. These are the top 10 words or phrases that make British journalist Matthew Engels cringe, according to "The English Blog." Actually, these words are pretty tame. I have a few that would make Engels piss his pants, but I'll leave them until later. Here's his shitlist of American words that are sliming Britain's pure speech:

1. Hospitalise (or, worse, he says, "hospitalize.")

2. Faze

3. Movies

4. Truck

5. Hike (as in "raise.")

6. The finger

7. Math

8. Rookie

9. Outage

10. Monkey wrench

Now, besides the fact no American would spell hospitalize "hospitalise" (my spell-checker goes bananas at the mere thought) and despite the fact no American has used the words "monkey wrench" since Buck Rogers did in 1934, here are my own offensive top 10 British words that, thankfully, are NOT creeping into the American language:

1. Surgery (when what you really mean is "doctor's office.")

2. Whatever word you use instead of "faze."

3. Film (when you are talking about movies instead of crud on your teeth.)

4. Lorry (when you are not talking about a girl's name and just spelling it wrong.)

5. Whatever you would say instead of hike.

6. The stupid "V for Victory" finger sign backwards.

7. Maths. (You people never seem to get this, do you? "Math" doesn't mean we doltishly think there is only one discipline in that branch of science; it means the word "mathematics" has been shortened to only its first 4 letters. Try to think out of the box on this one.)

8. Birds called rooks. (Incidentally, where they live are called "rookeries" by Americans. And why a rook would be called a rookie is beyond me. Do you people REALLY call rooks that?)

9. Power cut. (The power hasn't been "cut." The lights have gone out because of an accident. The power is out. There is a power "outage." Don't be angry.)

10. Adjustable spanner. Jesus.

Dear readers: all the above snotty comments were meant for this Mr. Engels, not you. You know how I love your words.

Moving on.

Well, ok. This Mr. Engels (of the MailOnline) seems to be defending your language from the Americans like the French are guarding against you. There used to be a fag in L.A. by the name of "Mr. Black" who used to bitchingly hurt women's feelings about the way they dressed and their taste in clothing accessories (thank god he's dead now) and this gentleman at the virtual version of the Mail seems to be equally obsessed with ridiculing American words.

What is the "MailOnline" anyway? Sounds like an oxymoron. I thought Mail Online was called eMail.

I could go on, you know.


  1. Just stay away from the Mail, online or otherwise, and your blood pressure will get back to normal as far as the USA bashing is concerned. But it will be OK if you read only the EU bashing articles.

  2. A man called 'Engels' writes for the Daily Mail? Surely not!

    However the words 'Awesome' (pronounced in that high pitched American female manner) ought to lead to the death sentence!

    A word like 'Cool,' was considered almost acceptable by Yanks only in the 60's, but today has me remarking that they need to broaden their vocabulary. (That means word list for your other Yank readers)

    American inability to understand the written word meant that when the UK sold the Hawker Jump Jet to the US it soon followed that the maintenance manual had to be translated as the hired hands of the USAF could not work out what a spanner was! Even woman know the answer to that one!


    And it's MATHS by the way!
    And the Mail online is a great way to upset folks. Just use an assumed name (Stalin or Lenin go down well) and mention it was all Thatcher fault! You can get hundreds of red arrows this way!

  3. Fascinating stuff, this.

    The English language is constantly changing and growing. Why must one term only suffice (or be correct), when various countries using speech come up with variants? Why is one right when the others are wrong?

    I speak American English, but I adore some of the particularly British uses for words, including "shift" for move and "mental" for crazy.

    Still not sure what I think of snogging, though... but I don't see anything wrong with it.

    I'm all for variety.

  4. Well, A., I don't care about USA bashing. I hope I didn't give that impression. This post is about newspaper columnists writing on subjects they are not knowledgeable on. On which they are not knowledgeable. And up with that I will not put.

  5. Hey, Adullamite. ¿Como Estas? Well, the real Engles writes for the New York Times. This guy is a knock-off. If I may be permitted to use the term knock-off.

    "Yank" probably does for Americans what "awesome" does for you. Just sayin'.

    Well, math aside, I don't know about Stalin or Lenin, but it WAS all Thatcher's fault.

    I really like your pictures on your blog, btw. You are getting quite good, if I may say.

    By the by, do you say "Trigs?"

  6. I'm with you Shakespeare. Let the language grow and evolve. Yo. :)

    What about snogging? You're not sure you like the word or you're not sure you like doing it?

  7. Trigs? Never heard of this.
    There again I am not mixing with the trend setters....

    By the way, 'Grow your business?'
    This should read 'Build your business!'
    I read this today and it annoys me!!!
    Just sayin likes...

  8. "...but it WAS all Thatcher's fault."

    Well said that man!



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