Thursday, January 22, 2015

That's simply offal!!

Did you know Haggis is illegal to import into the U.S.?

True. At least not the real stuff made with traditional ingredients.

"Livestock lungs shall not be saved for use as human food." Federal regulation. Honest.

So, in the USA, people have to either smuggle it in or eat the fake stuff (made with substitutes for the sheep lungs.) The lungs give haggis texture and that marvelous nutty taste.

Have you ever wondered why real Haggis makes you throw up? Even without floating it in whiskey? Fun fact: ground up sheep lung is the main active ingredient in ipecac syrup.

I lie.

Want to make your own authentic haggis? You can buy lamb lung chewy treats at your local pet store. Supposedly, that is the truth. So stock up if you don't want to eat the imitation stuff for Robert Burns night this Saturday.



  1. Relapsed Macks! Good heavens, I was worried that you would never return from your sojourn in a far off place. I toyed with the idea that your deep-sea submersible had been trapped by collapsing debris from the Titanic, or perhaps your capsule was unable to take off from mars due to its solar panel not fully unfurling.I realise now that you might just have been released early by the penitentiary.
    Either way, that's a digression from the main point, that Haggis is a vile substance that should be, under international law, barred from ever coming outside of the Scottish border.

    1. Indeed, I have the fine pro bono lawyers of the Innocence Project to thank for my early and unexpected release. Unfortunately, my terms of parole require that I not blog on a regular basis, and when I do I must extol the virtues of liberal political philosophy.

      I trust you are enjoying the good life.

  2. I am now a legal resident. Next step will be to run for Governor of Texas. After that, we'll declare war on Hawaii to boost the economy.

    1. What do you mean, "legal"? Were you illegal before? :)

      Too fast for you to mean you are taking out citizenship so I guess you mean you got permanent resident status. Anyway, congratulations.

      Don't stoop to politics, though...

  3. I like my idea of a war with Hawaii. In the true spirit of free market forces, it will make me rich when I invent synthetic pineapples.

  4. I am a legal resident. Prior to that I was neither legal nor illegal, just pending assignment of status.



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