Snot Cricket

Dictionary—

cricket 1 |ˈkrikit|nounan insect related to the grasshoppers. The male produces a characteristic rhythmical chirping sound. • Family Gryllidae: many genera and species, including the field cricket and the house cricket.ORIGIN Middle English : from Old French criquet, from criquer ‘to crackle,’ of imitative origin.cricket 2nounan open-air game played on a large grass field with ball, bats, and two wickets, between teams of eleven players, the object of the game being to score more runs than the opposition.Cricket is played mainly in Britain and in territories formerly under British rule, including Australia, South Africa, the West Indies, New Zealand, and the Indian subcontinent. The full game with two innings per side can last several days; shorter matches are usual at the amateur level and have become popular at professional level since the 1960s.PHRASESnot cricket Brit., informal a thing contrary to traditional standards of fairness or rectitude.DERIVATIVEScricketer nouncricketing adjectiveORIGIN late 16th cent.: of unknown origin.cricket 3nouna low stool, typically with a rectangular or oval seat and four legs splayed out.


I'm guessing Snot Cricket is that kind of cricket played on a slippery field. Pitch. Bowl. Whatever.


I have learned cricket from elsewhere on this blog in posts written by experts, so I will regale a bit.


"The male produces a characteristic rhythmic chirping sound." (In Georgia: Chirpin' sound.)


I can't relate that to wickets in the least. You'll just have to hold that thought about the male cricket players rubbing their legs together. Actually I didn't know females didn't make that noise too. Chirpin' I mean.


From criquer: 'to crackle.' Lordy don't THAT lose something in the translation? Stick to chirpin' and forget the French. Please.


"An open-air game played on a large grass field with ball, bats, and two wickets, between teams of eleven players, the object of the game being to score more runs than the opposition." Man, if THAT doesn't clear up the rules, you are pretty hopeless. What more could you want in the way of an explanation of the game of cricket? Nada. Zilch. What the hell about innings? He asks.


"Cricket is played mainly in Britain and in territories formerly under British rule...." Fair enough, but then they start listing all the countries formerly under British rule. What is the point of that? Some dictionary. An American dictionary, of course. It's like when I get those checks from my credit card companies every Thursday "to use for anything I want to buy" and then they make a list of all the things they can think of that money is good for. You know? RBS is the worst.


Well.


"The full game can last several days..." Bet it seems like YEARS, eh? Not to the English. Sorry. Btw, if you DO go back searching this blog for the REAL cricket posts, be sure not to miss the photo of the elderly English gent with all the hair on his back. Now, I am not trying to denigrate elderly British cricket fans who take off their shirt when they are sitting right in front of you - plenty of American men have too much hair on their backs too - I only mention it in passing so you will know there is something to look at during the match, besides the game, as the weeks between innings drag by.


Now, then, "Phrase Snot cricket": a thing contrary to traditional standards of fairness or rectitude.


So, if someone tries to break the rules, or bend the rules, and you catch them, you just yell out "That Snot Cricket!!" Or, if Jewish, "That Snot Kosher!"


I really AM learning this BritishSpeak stuff, but, God, sometimes it is like pulling teeth, you know?


Feeling extra old today. "Memory almost full" it says. And it's not talking about my computer.


Holy mackerel.

Explaining Cricket

One thing I have learned by having this blog is the fine art of cricket. Before I started this blog, I didn't have the least idea how the game was played. A lot of you have written in and asked me to share my knowledge about the rules (laws?) of the game of cricket. Sure.

1. The first thing everyone will tell you, and I agree, is that you should never compare cricket to baseball. There is no real comparison and it just makes it too confusing.

2. Cricket is a lot like baseball, only with the following differences:

a. There are 5 bases in cricket, and the runner runs counter-clockwise.

b. There are 3 pitchers in cricket, so it is harder for the batter to concentrate.

c. Cricket uses 311 innings instead of nine, but there is a 4-day time limit.

3. I would say that the most obvious difference between cricket and baseball is that there is no way to score in cricket. This alone takes much away from the game, in my opinion.

4. There are many umpires in cricket. Also, fans are allowed to come out of the stands and umpire at will. Rules are flexible.

5. If you pick up the ball (called a "squash") and run with it, you are probably playing rugby instead of cricket.

6. If you can use your mallet to knock the wooden ball through the wicket, and you also hit another player in his ball, you can send it.

7. Bats in cricket are flat.

8. Each time the batter swings and misses the ball in cricket, the pitcher gets to come three giant steps closer to him before the next pitch.

9. Cricket players are mostly from India and Brazil, whereas baseball players come from Japan and the Dominican Republic. Other nationalities can participate, of course, but not professionally or in front of an audience.

10. There are 12 players on each side in cricket. But only 11 can play. As an unimportant aside, I have always wondered why there are not 178 players on each side, and only 11 can play. It boggles.

11. There is always a wicketkeeper and a bowler (I forgot to tell you that in cricket, the ball is pitched to the batter on the ground.) The other 9 players are there mainly to distract the hitter and may assume actual positions or simply mill around. The captain tells them where to go, but compliance is not mandatory.

12. Tactics are decided upon after taking into account a number of variables.

13. If any player is caught playing another game, such as marbles, while the cricket match is in progress, the umpire gets to tell him, "That's not cricket!"

Those are the 13 rules of cricket.

Fun facts about cricket (you may not have known)

Cricket was invented only recently, in 1971. It got its name because it rhymes with "lick it".

The Prince Charles likes to play cricket. He uses a long hammer for a bat and rides a horse. It is his trademark.

Only 3 Americans have ever attended a cricket match. (Moe, Larry, and Curly Joe)

Only one American was fool enough to actually try and play the game:

Due to the vagary of cricket rules, unexpected accidents have been know to occur:

I hope this post has been of some help in clearing up any confusion you may have had.