Some of you loyal fans of BritishSpeak remember my very first post. It was (sort of) about Association Football, but I called it Soccer. Remember? What fun we had that day. What a tolerant bunch you were.
I took your abuse and learned a little (damn little) about the game you mistakenly call "football", and then you told me about rugby and even mentioned gaelic football. Well, I guess you never really told me: Catherine threatened to tell me, but never did. Be that as it may, these are sports in name only in the U.S., played only as curiosities at a few Ivy League universities. (Rugby, not soccer. Soccer is very widespread in the U.S. now. At least among children.)
I never got round to talking about the game of cricket. Thank goodness. What an oddity! I put cricket right up there with La Crosse and curling. Filed under "Things best left unknown by Americans."
I have given it quite a bit of thought, and I think the reason soccer has never really caught on with Americans (at a professional level) is because of the odd rule that you can't use your hands to pick up the ball and smash it into your opponent's face. It is my theory that, if this mistake is ever corrected, then the sport will gain rapid stature across the pond. The whole point of American sport, after all, is almost always to find ways to maim your adversary. But I am here to talk about darts, and maiming so seldom happens in that game.
I enjoy Pub games. Darts. Snooker. Well, darts anyway. Snooker: not so much. You have to actually think in order to play snooker, and (for me at least) thinking sometimes doesn't come that naturally in a bar after 10 or 12 drinks. So.
But darts I can do. Stand me up and point me in the right direction. Drunk or no. I think this is because one practices throwing darts so many hundreds of times that it eventually becomes second nature, and you can thus do it fairly adequately even when more than a little drunk. In fact, faking being even drunker than you really are is about the only way I can think of to actually hustle at darts. At least in the U.S. You Brits have probably discovered other ways.
I'm ok at darts, even pretty drunk, just as long as I have someone who can subtract reliably and who won't lie to me about how many points I still need to go out. Not that you Brits would lie to a drunk American about a thing like that.