On Catholicism and Morris Dancing

"Speak softly and carry a big stick," said Teddy Roosevelt. He wasn't talking about Morris Dancing though, I don't think.

James VI of Scotland, son of Mary Queen of Scots was NOT Catholic. His mother most definitely WAS Catholic, and you are probably wondering why her son wasn't Catholic but was a Morris Dancer.

I really don't know how you came up with the idea James was a Morris Dancer. I certainly didn't say he was; I was only talking about big stick diplomacy and somehow that means I must talk a bit about the origins of Morris Dancing, else you'll think this is a post about Teddy Roosevelt and the Panama Canal or something.

You couldn't be more wrong, so stop jumping to conclusions.

See, it all started (not Morris Dancing) when Elizabeth I realized it wasn't likely she was going to produce an heir, being an avowed virgin and all, so she took baby James from his mother MQOS when he was just a wee tyke, so wee that he didn't even remember his real mother, and had him raised up the way Bess Gloriana wanted him raised, by her courtesans, on the assumption he would end up being her heir. Actually MQOS gave him up right away, voluntarily, and Elizabeth I was really his godmother at her cousin's request... ahhhhh, never mind that. This upbringing under the influence of Elizabeth I accounts for James not being Catholic, see? But the English queen had a house on Drury Lane (not sure why, since she must have had a castle - perhaps she had a little vegetable garden out back) and that, of course, explains the Morris Dancing. I personally don't think she was really a virgin, either, but she never married and never had offspring, so I guess I would be safer, from an American standpoint, to just stick with Teddy Roosevelt and his phallic symbol.

Above, Mary QOS painting, but I think she was fatter.

Some of you, I can tell by your facial expressions, want an even deeper explanation.

Quickly, baby James was heir apparent to the English throne because Queen Elizabeth, childless, was the daughter of Henry VIII, and James' mother, MQOS, was the daughter of Henry VIII's older sister. So the succession backed up to her offspring. Sigh.

Now, the following more elaborate explanation is only about Morris Dancing since I already explained how James VI, I, was a christian protestant. The only thing we need to bring in to tie this all together is Her Majesty's house on Drury Lane and, of course, Shakespeare. Here goes.

How did Morris Dancing originate?

1. With the Druids

2. Brought back with the Crusaders

3. It's really Italian

4. Nobody knows. Not even the dancers.

Nobody really knows. Morris Dancing is really ancient. And I don't think even they know why they carry sticks to beat people with either. Morris Dancing certainly predates the Spanish trips to America by Columbus. It is mentioned by William Shakespeare in Henry V. Morris Dancing in a play was viewed by Elizabeth I from her house on Drury Lane. Aha! - you didn't think I could tie that in to all this, did you?

And all this time I thought Morris Dancing originated from Puritans trying to imitate the way Charles I's legs twitched rapidly when his head rolled off. I was very wrong in that assumption.

You can see some very nice pictures of Morris Dancing at various festivals here. Some of the pictures show them with their big sticks, which I still can't figure out what the heck it means.

Stopping now.

Update: that link doesn't take you where it took me so you will have to click on "photos" when you get where it takes you.

Old money

I was speaking with a friend the other day and the subject of the old monetary system in the UK came up. I wonder if anyone still remembers the days of the shilling. Your old money was always unfathomable to me as an American when I read about it in books by Charles Dickens and Anna Sewell.

Mostly pounds and shillings. I thought 12 shillings to the pound but was corrected. (The 12 that stuck in my mind was the number of pence in a shilling; there were 20 shillings to the pound.)

Which reminds me, oddly, of Enid Blyton saying the dog's tail was wagging 19 to the dozen. I don't know why I always remember that, or what it has to do with the number of shillings to the pound. But if you have followed BritishSpeak since its inception, you know why an American is familiar with a British children's author. Back to money.

Anyway, the real questions I had were about what other money names meant, including slang. For example, Sherlock Holmes and H.G. Wells spoke of gold sovereigns, which I don't have a clue as to the value. I finally figured out what a quid was, but still don't know what a bob is or was or where the word came from. Ebenezer Scrooge gave the prize turkey boy half a crown for returning with the poulterer in less than five minutes, says Charles Dickens. I don't know what a crown is, money wise. If I did, I could surely figure out what half a crown was.

Let's not forget guineas. Nobody knows what those were.

I was force-fed a song in grade school about someone who had six-pence and seemed happy to have it.

The song "A Soalin'" (don't get me started on soul cake or carved turnips, please) mentioned a ha' penny. And my friend claimed to still have a farthing. What IS this stuff? What WAS that stuff, I mean.

We all agree that bobbies are named after Robert Peel, but I don't think bob the money is related. Whatever a bob is. Not my uncle, that's for sure.

I give up. I doubt if anyone remembers anyway.

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The Telegraph, June 6, 2010: "Enid Blyton beats Roald Dahl and JK Rowling to be voted Britain's best-loved author." The children's authors were ahead of Jane Austen, William Shakespeare, and Charles Dickens. Another children's author, Beatrix Potter, also appeared in the top ten. I think all but Rowling and Shakespeare were paid in the old money at one time or another. Maybe Shakespeare, too; I haven't researched Elizbethan lucre.