I still like to peruse Australian blogs, even though I have pretty much given up finding an Aussie to participate in my book project. They are mostly into bigger and better things. I love the irreverent humor in some of their blogs, and never cease to be astonished at some of the things they seem to be deeply interested in. Like American politics. Really! Some of those Aussies get downright vicious in who they support to be the next U.S. President. Why? Haven't a clue. But some are really, really, deadly serious about "their" candidate. These people know a lot more about the candidates than this (or most, I would think) Americans know. Most Americans have realized a long time ago that it really doesn't matter who wins; they will inevitably continue to get shat upon no matter who wins. Maybe the Aussies still have hope. Who knows.
Another reason that I felt Aussies were not being attracted to my blog was Max's foul mouth. I have been trying to do something positive about this, but I find the only way I am ever going to be successful in that regard is to simply kill Max off. I find that when I write like I am writing now, Max has left the building. It is simply boring ol' Tom left in here. No profane inspiration in Tom's real personality. Max! Get back in here! They're leaving!
But no, I don't think the profanity is what keeps the Aussies away. If anything, Max doesn't get down and dirty ENOUGH--you should READ some of those Aussie blogs! And those are just the ones the lady schoolteachers write. Following is an example of a recipe for an omelette I "extracted" from an Aussie blog the other day. I wish I could give some link love, but I visited so many blogs I have forgotten which one I stole it from. If I see it again in my travels, I will come back here and give them proper credit.
(Warning: Aussie humor is not cutesy double-entendre.)
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Recipe for Australian omelette:
Ingredients:
2 fucking eggs
some fucking salt and pepper
fucking chives
1 fucking knob (?) of fucking butter
Directions:
Heat the fucking butter in a fucking omelette pan.
Fucking break the fucking eggs into a fucking bowl.
Fucking whisk the fuckers and add some fucking salt and fucking pepper to taste.
When the fucking butter is hot, add the fucking mixture to the pan.
When cooked, take the fucking thing out.
Eat the fucker.
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Ah yes. And you wonder why we refer to it as "down under."
Later.
