Sunday, March 9, 2008

Liverpool vs Newcastle. (I think they're talking about soccer)

Opening comment, in order to save needless vicious emails:

Yes, I already know that you call it "football" if you don't live in the USA. But thanks.

Stumbled upon (and fell down over) this post at:

Posted there by/on: March 8th, 2008 by shearyadi

Excerpt in question:

Newcastle Team Scores:
Harper: ?
Beye: Looks bewildered.
Enrique: Looks lost.
Taylor: Slowly breaking apart.
Faye: Head goes down.
Butt: Fucking dreadful.
Smith: Shocking.
Milner: Knackered.
Duff: Disgraceful.
N’Zogbia: Already at Spurs.
Owen: Pitiful.
Martins: A bit of hope.

Dumbass American questions about Britishspeak:

I think I know what "Fucking dreadful" means. But what the fuck does "Knackered" mean? And "Already at Spurs"?



  1. Knackered means how your knackers (and the rest of you) feel when you've used them for an hour or two. If you don't know what knackers are they're them 2 things in a bag hanging between a blokes willy and bum.

  2. Thanks. One word answered, three new ones presented. I'm going backwards here. Never mind about willy and bum--I think I can guess. And a bloke is a cove, right?

  3. Knackered is also a term which is used when horses are killed for being too old; 'sent to the knackers' means being sent to the abbatoir.
    'Knackered' basically means 'tired' and is acceptable slang (ie not considered that crude, can be used in conversation with your grandmother).

    'Already at Spurs' means that the footballer in question has gone to play for Spurs, another team (aka Tottenham Hotspur).

  4. Can be used in conversation with your grandmother? Not MY grandmother, luv.

    Tottenham, eh? I'm guessing you haven't spent a great deal of time in the American desert Southwest, right?

    This is going to be more fun than I thought. We really don't come close to speaking the same language, do we? But yet we can still--sort of--communicate. How cool.

  5. Sorry. But its NOT f'ing Soccer! Its the Yanks who stole the name for the most loved game in the WORLD! So its FOOTBALL as we use our FEET only (Unlike your version).


    Knackered = Dead, Broken, had its day, crap

    Already at Spurs = Spurs is Tottenham Hotspurs (Spurs for short) and is a Football team.

  6. Aye! me gannin to answer yer questions but alreet, you've found them already now :)

  7. Dammit people got here before me ;)

    Knackered is pretty polite these days! Wait til you get to the football chants...

  8. My knackers are completely knackered, you know.

  9. Football chants. Now there's an idea. There's gotta be at least three people left in the world that we haven't offended yet with this blog.

    We don't chant at American Football games. We simply scream at the referees and throw up beer on our neighbors. Chanting sounds more civilized. I have a feeling it's probably not, though.

    Well who's got the knackers to post some of them chants? Let's have at it.

  10. @ Lee Doyle: technically I'm a Brit, but I live in Ireland (well, N Ireland anyway, but right on the border). And unless it's obvious from context (ie talking about Man U or Liverpool (no-one up here seems to support any other damn team)), people on one side of the lovely divide up here would say 'soccer' too to differentiate it from Gaelic football (which does use the foot but also the hand).

    Am I confusing you yet, relax max? :)

  11. @ catherine

    Totally. And just when I was starting to think I was beginning to see the light. Back to square one. Gaelic football. Dare I ask? I smell Rugby in there somewhere. Yo. Scrum.

    I had my fingers crossed that we hadn't run you off, catherine. Thanks for toughing it out. I promise to try and keep it more civilized if you will just stick around for a while. Soldier on, as it were. God I love this new language!

    First I have to get those "football chants" out of the way. I have a queasy feeling they aren't the same as Gregorian chants or Christmas carols. We'll see.

  12. @alison

    alison, alison, alison. I've read your prim and proper (and very literary) high-class blog, and I must say I am astounded to find you down here in the muck with us commoners. Methinks there is another side to alison than just Anne Boleyn and Emily Dickinson. Of course, I my own guttersnipe self wrote about the Tudors just today. Perhaps my Henry VIII wasn't quite as classy as your blog's portrayal, but we aims to please here. Don't think for a minute that we only roll around in 19th century cockney slang and football chants. By the way, with regards to that George III book, did I miss the first two volumes, parts I and II?

    On a serious note, condolences on the loss of your Mall. Despite my avatar, I, too, am a catlover. Seven. Count 'em, seven.

    Please do come back and see us, ok?

  13. Knackered means tired from shagging or any other activity :)

  14. Methinks you need Wikipedia. :)

    Gaelic football is played in Ireland - it's a lot like Aussie Rules football (so much so that they have compromise rules games Ire v Aus).
    Rugby (correctly, 'Rugby football' in the same way that ordinary football is 'Association Football' (which is where the word 'soccer' derives from) is another game entirely and the passion of my life. It's more hands than feet, though like Gaelic and Aussie Rules, it uses both.
    American 'football' is the weird one for not using feet at all....

    (And huh, it takes a lot more to scare me off!)

  15. @catherine

    So true. And so pithy as well. Too much to grapple with in a measly comment response. So I will have to respond to you more adequately in an upcoming post devoted to your comments. I'm not trying to embarrass you--I just think your comments are cool and authoritative. Keep watch, please, if you can.



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