Speaking of St. David...

I was going to do a sarcastic post (I have become somewhat sarcastic compared to my previous tolerant self, due, mostly, from too much reading the comments of the amazing Mail Online of late) but I'm not going to because I rather like Mr. Cameron. He seems an affable enough chap. Some of you may have been under the impression he was on an official visit (can't say "state" visit, of course) to talk about Afghanistan, Iran, and the Falklands. No, not the Falklands.

How surprised you must be to learn that he really ended up in Dayton, watching a couple college basketball games and forcing down some vile toxin-loaded hot dogs (you'll not want to enlarge the above pic) while wondering why he chose to visit during the annual national college basketball tournament.

Afterwards, they flew back to Washington on a gigantic airplane (petrol being practically free in the colonies right now) and then on to an extravagant (even for Democrats) state dinner at the White house, featuring American and British celebrities and entertainment and, in an odd (even for politicians) attempt to blend American and British cuisine with a main entree called "Bison Wellington." It is to cringe. Yet, much money was spent and much liquor was consumed and much flattery was bandied about, so everything turned out considerably more than okie-dokey. It gave them a chance to act and eat like us common folk do. They are our servants, you know.

And then on to New York (and I'm sure they didn't walk from Washington to there, either) sans the Obamas, to the newly-constructed/still-under-construction memorial at Ground Zero to place flowers on the carved-in-granite name of the British 9/11 fatality. White roses. Touching. And I mean that with as much sincerity as I can muster.

You'll be tickled to learn that I have been busy rounding up a few pictures of the PM's visit. I see the cherry blossoms are in, well, blossom, in Washington now. I really thought they didn't blossom until April. Must be Obama's unusual warmth. Or something. Global warming, that's it. Anyway, I DID steal you a few pictures so you could savor the visit for yourselves. As usual, I forgot to also steal the captions that go with the pictures and have accordingly added my own, as best as I can remember. Enjoy.

I do. Oh, I do. I do I do I do I do I do.

It's true, it's true! Relax Max is SIMPLY FASCINATED by it all. Here's the deal — you folks can continue worshiping at the shrine of Barack Obama (of unknown origins, says The Donald) and I will pursue the headier delights of the upcoming (impending?) marriage of (be still, my heart) KATE. How could you claim to be utterly disinterested? I think you're all lying. Following is the fruit of the past week's tabloid dishes.

1. Kate prefers to be called Catherine.

2. Kate is related to both George Washington and George S. Patton.

3. Kate is the oldest bride in history.

4. Kate has been assigned 4 bodyguards from Scotland Yard to protect her clock.

5. Kate was a Brownie.

6. Is a morbidly moping Brad Pitt sleeping with an Angelina Jolie look-alike?

7. Teen unable to close mouth after yawning in class.

8. Kate is 6 years older than Prince William.

8a. Prince Charles is 20 years younger than Kate.

9. Kate set a high jump record in school. Dunno, that's what it said.

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Explanations and clarifications found necessary due to publication before proofreading:

(These are probably not in order. Makes it more interesting that way.)

1. Title of post is from an ABBA song. I'm thinking 1 or 2 of you might not get that without this prompt. It is also a double-entendre meant to refer to the weddi.... ah, never mind.

2. If you go all the way to 8th cousins, 11 times removed, I guess I am related to George Washington, too.

3. Make that the oldest "royal" bride in history. I find that hard to believe, though they do tend to rob the cradle more often than not. But she's only 29. Really? Could she REALLY be the oldest woman ever to marry a royal? I'm guess there is another caveat the tabloid left out.

4. Make that "protect her AROUND THE clock."

5. Not a faerie. A little girl scout. Pre- girl scout. Whatever.

6. Clicked on wrong link and got those ones about Brad and yawn.

7. Make that "she is 6 MONTHS older than Prince William."

8. In dog years.

Next post: "Inattentive future queen gets hand bitten by

deranged woman." See the actual video of the human

bulldog in action. Not for the squeamish.