Wednesday, August 27, 2008

What we need....

In his ongoing efforts to keep his paw on the pulse of all things British, Relax Max subscribes to the email updates on world affairs which emanate with considerable regularity from within the cloistered walls of Her Majesty's foreign mission in Washington. Lately, her government has been greatly pleased (which is to say exceedingly chuffed) to issue regular stern warnings and outright condemnations to the fine fellows in Moscow in re their recent invasion of the country of Georgia. These statements always seem to follow within minutes of strikingly similar condemnations and non-specific yet dire-sounding warnings from the Bushites in the White House. Only the Zees have been changed to Esses, and a few unnecessary Us (Yous) added to make it seem more British.

Today, Relax Max received the following news release from your Washington embassy. I share:

Foreign Secretary David Miliband: Ukraine, Russia and European Security
FCO, London, August 27, 2008

Foreign Secretary David Miliband made an important speech in Kiev today on Ukraine, Russia and European Security.

In the speech, David Miliband reflects on the changed situation in Europe after Russia's invasion of Georgia, and the implications both for the West and Russia. He reaffirms that we do not want a new Cold War, and stresses that President Medvedev has a big responsibility not to start one, and that Russia needs to change course if she wants respect and influence and the benefits which flow from them. He underlines the economic costs of Russia's action to a Russian economy which is increasingly enmeshed in the global economy.

At the same time, he notes that isolation of Russia would be counter-productive.
What we need is hard-headed engagement, bolstering our allies, rebalancing the energy relationship with Russia, defending the rules of international institutions and renewing efforts to tackle unresolved conflicts.

[emphasis by Relax Max]

No, Mr. Secretary. What we NEED is for my country to get the frig out of Eastern Europe and come home, and to stop spending my tax dollars on some idiot "missile shield" which only makes Iran laugh and greatly pisses off Russia.

If I may say so.


  1. ^^ <-- raised eyebrows
    What's a zee?

  2. Otherwise I would tend to agree.

  3. What's a zee? It's a letter in the American alphabet that you British always drop and substitute esses for. How could you not have gotten that? - You can't drop zeds because they aren't in the American alphabet in the first place. (And even YOU never use zeds unless you happen to be talking about zebras, which you never do, and which you probably spell sebra anyway.)

    I don't suppose you ever watched Pulp Fiction? If you had you would have heard the little French girl say, "Who's Zed?"

    Butch: "Zed's dead."

    Now just stop it and pay attention to the subject of the post. Some of us CARE that Bush hasn't been bashed here today. K?

  4. But we drop our aitches very well. So do the French.

  5. I hate being a "yous" - that aside, I will have to come back and read your post when I have NOT consumed an entire bottle of CabSav.... I can't seem to stay focused long enough to get the "point"

    Must not be drinking enough....



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