Claire gets to explain Horny

Thank you to all the folks that voted in my wee web poll, it was a complete surprise that you picked the word 'Horny' as my wondrous topic.

Now for the in depth study into the word Horny, what is the etymology and linguistic origin of this word. Hang about? You weren't just expecting smut now were you? Well if you want smut then you must be at least somewhat educated before you get some.
The word horn in this context has been knocking about in the written form since the mid-18th century, referring to an erection because an erection is horn like apparently, not that I would know this of course. There is also some other bumpf about it being something to do with a horny horned egyptian god, but that was bloody long and too complicated to read.

So from horn you get horny, which now applies to males and females, it's a lovely unisex phrase.
A few definitions found on the interweb, please don't read if you are easily aroused or likely to be offended by sexual terms. In fact don't read any further, just look at the cartoon or something.

1.Horny Definition 1.

2.Horny Definition 2.

3.Horny Definition 3.

Right so now you are up to date on horny and hopefully still with me? Lets hope I am not going arse about face with all this info.
If you are feeling horny as defined in the links above. You are feeling sexually aroused, your heart rate has quickened and different parts of you are affected depending on what sex you are. I have compiled a delightful list of various names that you may come across, literally or not. Some of these will cause offense, so please don't go about saying them willy nilly.

Female Bits: Growler, Gash, Hairy clam, honey pot, lady garden, quim, spunk bucket, twat, vadge, minge, muff, badly packed kebab, bearded clam, Chuff, clout, Flange, Fadge, fanny, front bottom, bucket fanny, clown's pocket.

Male/dangly Bits: Cock, prick, beef bayonet, bell-end, chopper, custard chucker, dong, donger, German helmet, knob-end, John Thomas, knob, lad, langer, length, , maggot, member, middle leg, mutton dagger, old chap, old fellow, old man, one-eyed trouser-snake, percy, pink cigar, pocket rocket, pork dagger, pork sword, pud, purple-headed warrier, purple headed womb broom, sausage, skin flute, spam javelin, tallywhacker, todger ,tool, trouser snake, widgy, willy, winkle

Male dingly bits when affected: stonker, stiffy, biggie, pitch a tent, semi, trouser tent, morning glory, get it up, hard-on, lazy lob, lob on, pan handle, stalk, wood,woody,

Actually 'Doing it': How's your father? Slap and tickle, bunk up, leg over, quickie, seeing to, shafting, Bonk, bang, shag, stuffing, trouser action, humping, on the job, quickie.

Hope this explanation and these terms help to bring the British language into your every day usage. If I have missed out anything please let me know and I will add it to the list.

PS. Horny is also a synonym for the devil! So beware of his/her many forms, not meaning me, heh.
PPS. Internet lingo: iah - i am horny, also not actually me.