Although she received Max's plea for help too late to come and do battle at his side the first day, the remaining zombie followers of the defeated (at least temporarily defeated) Canucklehead would tremble where they stand if they were able to see the vast encampment of the Mighty Bridget and her terrible hoard of South African Amazon blog-fighters on Max's Southern flank today! Unstoppable writers with sarcasm and cutting wit dripping from their sword-pens. Feminists all--with a fine mixture of bitter man-detesting divorcees--ready, willing, and able to unleash their vicious tirade at a moments notice.
Fear, Canucklehead! The end of all you stand for is near at hand! The mighty Bridget, and her sidekick, the little D-less briget (normally a lover and a marshmallow--but fiercely aroused when her sharp thing is working properly) are ready to take the field, keyboards at the ready, able even to put the diaper to that foul turncoat Scot, Fat Bastard! The battle is made even more personal by the fact that Princess Bridget is herself, ironically, partially descended from Scots--and she seeks to rid the blogging world of this embarrassing turncoat llama defiler.
Fear, Canucklehead! Your last weekend of feeble ineffective blogging is rapidly slipping away!
The Mighty Warrior Princess asks Max to give the defeated Canucklehead this message:
BWAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! EAT MY TITTIES YOU DICKLESS CANUCK! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Thus it was written, so let it be done.
wow, the Mighty Bridget and the Amazon blog fighters, is a force to be reckoned with.
ReplyDeleteYes Caroline. It's about over for the Canucklehead, I'm afraid. the only good thing is that the hypnotist is also a meme freak and Canucklehead is afraid to go near her.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, ma'am, the Amazons speak words that would burn your tender ears. Maxy is in their encampment bathing in their unintelligible slang as he types this, as a matter of fact, for research purposes, resting his head on the Princess's lap and listening to her words foul the air around his little doggie ears.
And a public apology is not enough to repair the hurt you gave Max by comparing him to common perverts and his blog to filthy common chat rooms.
No. Penance is also required. Max will let you know what it is you have to do.
Fair enough
ReplyDeleteMmmuufff More than fffrrree fair! But Mixxr Max must give this sommmmrx some serious thought firrrst. Max's mouthhh ish fullll right nowww..
ReplyDeleteyou know, you really shouldn't talk with your mouth full :)
ReplyDeletecanucklehead has found my hiding place... I just hope his zombies are a little slower in their pursuit.
ReplyDeleteIf I can just get myself to the local pub, and lock myself in maybe I'll be safe.
Gonna have to cancel that new blog already. Or at least clean up the floor. At least he left the animals outside! :)
ReplyDeletehoney, I'm home!
ReplyDeleteholy shitballs - kill it with fire!I must try to retain a brave face in front of the troops but I'm afraid I actually have shit a little in my best drawers. This may require further strategy I'm afraid ...
ReplyDeleteOh, Caroline my dear, when trying to hide from Canucklehead the LAT place you want to be is a pub. Cheers!
PS - this is what part of the alphabet would look like if there were no letters Q or R.
ReplyDeletePSS - re: The world's best blogs are written by the people who comment on this one.
Certainly I must qualify by now you blogroll scrooge!
PSSS - victory shall be mine!
@Canucklelinc - are you finished? We have decided to allow you to live until Monday. You may enjoy your last weekend--but only if you leave my friends alone and keep your animals out of Caroline's blog. Marmelade will probably let you comment as long as you keep a civil tone about you. Can't guarantee that though. She has a temper.
ReplyDeleteis LAT some canadian term that I am not aware of? At first I thought maybe your keyboard was just missing the S, but your follow comment squashed that idea.
ReplyDelete@Caroline - If Max may be allowed to cockblock a little here....
ReplyDelete1. He can't spell worth a shit and refused to look at it before he hits "send" (he means LAST) Which, I guess IS a Canadian thing...
2. He is not likely to stick around for long enough for you to answer. The attention span of a fly.
Ok, sweetish one?
Also he likes to drink 40 ouncers and wash the beer down with maple syrup while staring blankly at the Canadian flag. Go figure. But that's what makes his eyes water anyway. That and his 4-legged friends he allows to stay in his living room.
ReplyDeletethank you Max, that helped, seems I needed a translator.
ReplyDeleteHaving written my own post, I wonder just where my loyalties should rest, tick, tock, tick, tock, listening to the sound of a swinging pocket watch.
ReplyDeleteSorry, Max is to wise to have his eyes open when he talks to the Deb. :) :) :)
ReplyDelete:)
ReplyDeleteDon't fall until his trap debbie - we are not defeated. our secet weapon is about to be unleashed ...
ReplyDeleteIs debbie going to unleash her attacking roosters?
ReplyDeleteI fear that as the cock crows, max revealed a difficult side to himself.
ReplyDeleteYour move homeboy! I have just unleashed a weapon so inhumane that it makes 1,000 rabid roosters look like ... well a 1,000 rabid roosters.
ReplyDeleteI'm actually remorseful that I had to do it to you ol' chap - my desperate times called for desperate measures. I'm sorry though, I will be unable to be reached for the remainder of the evening celebrating my heroic comeback with some beer and 'Canadian porn' (NHL playoffs). Cheers!
Man, I sure hope this lady changes her mind. Have you guys seen her blog? This woman can flat out WRITE! Well, maybe there's still hope...
ReplyDeleteMax, your back :)
ReplyDeleteWants to meet the infamous max that she's heard so much about.
ReplyDeleteCanucklehead, are you SERIOUS? You want to start up again on the WEEKEND? Are we not COMMUNICATING HERE????? And what's this rooster shit everyone has been talking about while I was away?
ReplyDeleteAll you have to do is turn on the tv, put your feet up on the coffee table and open a beer. Can't you just DO that? It's simple enough. Turn off your computer Linc. You have a death wish. Resist it until Monday.
Please!
I still don't get it. Does he mean that the Amazons will be roasting CHICKENS over their campfires tonight? How is that a threat?
ReplyDeleteCheck out debbies blog for the rooster reference
ReplyDelete@Caroline- WHAT back? Marmelade bewitched the whole damn area before she left. Any chickens that get into that zone will be rolling their beady little eyes and doing backflips. Now is not the time for codes. Tell me what you see!!
ReplyDeleteWho? Give me a minute. Who is this one?
@Caroline- WHAT back? Marmelade bewitched the whole damn area before she left. Any chickens that get into that zone will be rolling their beady little eyes and doing backflips. Now is not the time for codes. Tell me what you see!!
ReplyDeleteWho? Give me a minute. Who is this one?
Oh, God. It's another of the Canuck's dual avatars. Now that really scares me. How original! Where shall we bury "Lolly" and her chickens? Anyone?
ReplyDeleteTalk again Lolly. Have you forgotten what you were sent for?
ReplyDeletecodes? I don't know what you are talking about. All I know about the roosters is that debbie has attacking roosters... but I see marmelade has it covered, so that's all good.
ReplyDeleteAs for back... i was referring to you being back here you were gone along time, but you know that already.
And, if you'd stuck around in my blog a little longer, you would have met lolly already, although she has had a makeover since then, and I must say is looking much better.
@Caroline. I was just there. Nothing but the same hypotherapy stuff. Don't make me go back, little one. Talk....oh all right...
ReplyDeleteI don't know this canuckle thing you speak of, I saw some comments hes made, and I see he is at the center of this battle.
ReplyDeleteWhat does he do with these roosters I want to know, seems a bit odd if you ask me.
So Max, you finally noticed me... :)
Sorry, Max, didn't mean to put you at risk of becoming a zombie.
ReplyDeletePerhaps it was just my fear of birds, but the mention of roosters had me spooked. But as I said, I am no longer worried.
ReplyDelete@Caroline -glad I'm BACK???
ReplyDeleteShit. Why can't you Brits just speak ENGLISH.
Let me read what "LOLLY BOB" says...
I am not sure what is wrong with saying glad your back. What "should" I have said?
ReplyDeletelolly bob indeed... humph.
ReplyDeleteMarmelade that better not be You fucking with the avatar bin.
ReplyDeleteChrist! Can anybody tell me what is going on? Are we being attacked or not? Bridget will KILL my ass if I call her out for some damn doped up hypno-chickens.
I'm gonna make a call here. Debbie is trying to meme us. It's all she does. It's all she knows. Caroline?... never mind. I'll do it myself. Be right back.
@ Caroline,
ReplyDeleteNEVER let anyone should on you!
@ debbie, good point. I was actually curious, as I live here, and I get funny looks for saythings that people just don't understand, i am still curious as to what the american is.
ReplyDeleteWhat did you want me to do... why are you panicking... don't fall into their trap.
ReplyDeleteNothing to worry about. Lolly is Lolly. No chickens. Chickens if any are bewitched by now, as is their handlers, whoever. Fat Bastard is holding his aching guts somewhere near Toronto. The zombies are running into each other. Canuclehead is under house arrest. There are several thousand Amazon Warriors with sword-pens encamped just up the road. God has released me forever from Meme obligations, as witnessed by the following publicly posted official realease statement. NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN! GO TO BED!
ReplyDeleteNOTICE TO THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE: RELAX MAX HEREBY DECLARES THIS AND ALL OTHER MEMES FINISHED AND FOREVER BANNED! MAX WILL IGNORE ALL FUTURE TAGS FOR ALL MEME GAMES. MAX DECLARES HIS BREECH OF ETIQUETTE DEBT TO CANUCLEHEAD AND TO THE ENTIRE CANADIAN NATION HEREBY ABSOLVED AND PAID IN FULL. I PAID YOUR PRICE AND NOW I DECLARE THAT MAX IS FREE AGAIN!!!!
LOLLY - I'm afraid to talk to you. If you are Marmelade quict jerking me around and 'fess up. You are wasting a whole evening we could be doing....something else. Now what is going on with Lolly.
ReplyDeleteDamn. It isn't Marmelade. Marmelade is out drinking with Russians. The Canuck is too dumb. Has to be...Caroline! Dead meat Caroline we will call her.
If I'm right, you have to raise your hand. I ain't driving all the way to Portland tonight. Is it? The master of the avatars. It IS you, isn't it!
ReplyDeleteWhy am I dead meat? That doesn't sound like much fun.
ReplyDeletewell if you'd check entrecard, you'd know who it was :)
ReplyDeleteCaroline, I'm sorry baby. Of course there's nothing wrong with saying you were glad I was back. I was the one in the wrong--I thought you said "Watch your back. Very different. Sorry. Forgive me?
ReplyDeletetoo funny... no harm done.
ReplyDeleteNot REALLY dead meat Caroline. An Americanism. Figure of speech. A joke. Maxy would never do anything like that.
ReplyDeleteBut are you Lolly? If so, Maxy would like to lick....aaarghhh! I can't say that anymore.
I hope you can see the big grin on your maxy's dumb face!
ReplyDeletemax,
ReplyDeleteyour earlier pleadings almost worked...but alas, I have worked with the passive/aggressive before.
I will tell you (inflating your ego now) that off post I have had loyal clients and subscribers sending me nasty grams about you. They think you have besmirched my reputation, not understanding how much I post on the walls of the men's rooms myself!
'Til the cock crows......
What was that Max? You'd like to lick... tsk tsk tsk
ReplyDeleteBlogspot is way behind on these comments, but I finally wised up and checked entrecard. Can I have some cake when it's done? You are fantastically entertaining, you know. Well, just fantastic all over. The orange one will be proud tomorrow when she reads this. Where's Deb? I need to apologize to her...
ReplyDeleteI would love to give you some of the cake, but its a birthday cake for the party tomorrow...
ReplyDeleteI could let you lick the bowl though.
Its nice to know you think I am fanstastically entertaining... I do have my moments I suppose
Ah, Debbie! I hope you are still here. The comment finally posted so I could see it. I don't care WHAT you do when the cock crows--it will be worth it. God, can you ever think on your feet! Did you REALLY get serious inquiries and sympathies? No kidding? Oh, that is too much. May I say something to my gorgeous enemy, and not have her take it the wrong way?
ReplyDeleteDebbie: I think I love you. Please come over to our side. I'll pay your price. Just name it. Ok. Anything but that...
Debbie does certainly have an air of brilliance about her.
ReplyDeleteShe has me impressed.
Yes, I did. I have some very loyal and protective clients, they still believe in my virtue. If that ain't proof of my powers?
ReplyDeleteYou do have a way with words, my young friend.....
but alas, give away my treasures for promises of folly?
Mesmerize me!
Caroline,
ReplyDeleteyou are so sweet, trust me, I am quite normal. I just have a wicked way with words, having had those darn roosters and 3 brothers to combat.
wow, you must have some power with words if you can use them to control a rooster.
ReplyDeleteMax, what do I have to do to get your attention. My wrapper is already off.
ReplyDelete@Debbie - Mesmerize you? I'll sure try. Don't think I stand a chance. I am soooooo glad you picked up on what was going on. You must have a 6th sense. Unless Canucklehead spilled the beans. If not, I guess I just did, huh. And thanks for calling me young, young lady. It makes me feel sort of ....well, young actually.
ReplyDeleteCan you ever forgive me? I didn't have time to set you up properly. You know that.
@Lolly-well, I just wanted to wait a minute in case Deb still has a comment, but if not, you know where to meet me. And you did all this while you were baking a birthday cake. What was that American term you hate?--AWESOME!
ReplyDeleteI said mesmerize me. One must be subtle with the older woman...finesse her, not pour the compliments like a cheap bottle of white zinfandel.
ReplyDeleteMy blog, our time, make it special....
Nope, I did all "this" while you were M.I.A
ReplyDelete@Debbie - You got it pretty lady. I can do that. Only not tonight! Can't keep up with you. You guys weren't supposed to do that tonight! What say we relax for a while?
ReplyDeleteM.I.A.? Itallian for "mine" right? Thanks Caroline! Oh, I know!!! Just putting you on a little!
ReplyDeleteWell, I guess good night on the blog comments, then. Will still check them periodically for a while.
ReplyDeleteLolly just stepped out for a while. I am sure she'll be back soon enough.
ReplyDeleteSo are you back to relax max? The panic is now over :)
Well could night Max, when Lolly gets back, I'll send her in to say night night.
ReplyDeleteHi, I was just popping in to say night night.
ReplyDeleteIt is dark... Bodies strewn all over the floor at awkward angles in various stages of dress.. The effects of the war are taking its toll on the warriors.
ReplyDeleteWhen will the senseless fighting end?
There also appears to be a canadian snuggling up to a llama... This does not look good.
I retrieve my "sharp thingy" from caroline and resheath it for safety reasons...
I step over to where the American Brit is laying with his framed portrait of THE MIGHTY B.I hesitate.. Should I awaken the beast I see before me? Will he just poo in his pants again? Why does he have his thumb in his mouth?
I give him a quick shake and he stirs..
"mhahgh ...khill...gmoammi..."he mumbles incoherently.
I decide to leave him for awhile longer...
Off to clean up this mess that lies before me.
Mighty B is about to return and I know she will not be pleased by this carnage.. Heads will roll
thank goodness you took that back. I was keeping it close so it wouldn't get swiped, and I was ever so worried I'd do myself some damage.
ReplyDeleteIf you need help clearing up the mess, give me shout, I have a couple of mins left in me, before I pass out from exhaustion.
ah yes Caroline... thought you were asleep.
ReplyDeleteWould you be a darling and sweep up all the pencil shavings on the floor.. I will tackle the crumpled sheets of paper .. But do be careful not to get any splinters so wear gloves...
I see Lolly got herself a paper cut and bled all over her macbook.. Shame man!
Did no one see that and go to her rescue? She would've bled out if she didn't find those sanitary pads in Max's bathroom...
I think Caroline has conked out. She doesn't respond. How are you? Why are you up so early?
ReplyDeleteI am not awake...
ReplyDeleteWho said i was awake ;-)
Did I say you were awake? I said you were UP I think. And no snide remarks.
ReplyDeleteI'm really getting slow email notification delays. So let me write something else real quick before I lose you again. I want to thank you for playing along with this silly game. And for letting me call you little b (vs BIG B). :) :) I don't know what the Canadians have planned for tomorrow. Nothing I hope. I will just ignore them.
ReplyDeleteSo are you up or just dragging in with a man on each arm? I will let you go. Know you have stuff to do. See you later.
Good morning everyone!
ReplyDeleteOne night out and look what happened ... cocks and roosters, and who is that lolly bitch??? is she trying to trick everyone into thinking she's candy girl? but you know very well candy girl likes to grab tight her lollypop and doesn't let go of it to wonder free on people's blogs!
Max, can we please move on to a new post, my love, so we can start comments all over again?